Woman to Woman

So I try really hard not to be a big ol' boob about things, but today, I seem to be being especially sensitive.  My guess is because I started the day out in church service, so that usually puts me closer to the spirit and more sensitive to my emotions, plus my day started at 5am, so sleep deprivation helps a bit too :p.  So I was driving home from running errands today and had a church talk in the CD player. The talk was discussing the pure love of Christ and how we can demonstrate that to others.  Even though, I was really enjoying the talk, my brain has definitely had a difficult time not wandering to the topic of our adoption lately.  I am most definitely a planner, its constantly on my mind (probably because there is pretty much nothing in my control, so I really cant "plan" for anything).  Anyways, my thoughts wandered to the 2 weeks following the birth.  We have to stay in Florida for about 2 weeks for the paperwork to be processed.  My first thoughts were about how to manage by myself in another state, in a hotel room with a new born.  Kind of crazy!  But then, my thoughts went to Carolyn.  She told me today that she is going to have an additional procedure in conjunction with the birth, which will require her to be in the hospital an extra day or two, but I also assume it may add to her healing time. While I know she has people who care about her, my concern still came to her need to heal physically, but also mentally and emotionally, but at the same she has other responsibilities that may prevent her from doing that as easily as possible.  It surprised me a little to realize how much I care for this woman whom Ive only known for a few short months, but whose impact in my life along with Chris is so immense.  While, I dont want to minimize my gratitude for Chris, there is just something different about the bond from woman to woman and from mother to mother. 

When we began the adoption process almost a year ago, I found part of a poem about the relationship between the birth mother and the adoptive mother.  I appreciated the sentiment of the poem, but it just didnt quite express my emotions.  So I took the sentiment of the poem and created my own.  Im not really a poet, but I enjoy writing when the mood suits me.  After we returned from our trip to Florida, I remembered the poem, and found it and reread it.  It amazed me how my feelings matched after meeting Carolyn.  I just thought I would share. 

All the words in the world

could never express what I feel for you.
I know our paths were meant to cross
I hope you share that feeling too

The day we had the pleasure of meeting
I saw your beautiful face
My heart was filled with such great peace
I felt our spirits embrace.

You have given me hope of a treasure

worth far more than silver or gold
The dreams of a beautiful baby,

a precious new child to hold.

For too long my arms have been empty

My heart ached and tears filled the night

you truly are an answer to prayers

the triumph at the end of a fight

I am grateful to you for giving this gift
I am sure it is hard to do
I cannot imagine the strength it must take

I sincerely admire you

You chose to take the harder path
You are proving your love is great

The gift you give is a selfless one

Of love, of life, of faith

I promise you that I will speak

of the great courage that you have shown,
And that to this little one so loved,
You will not remain unknown.

I hope you will find comfort in knowing
This baby will be loved and cherished too
It will never want for anything
for I owe this blessing to you.

Thank you simply isn’t enough

No words can even come close

By taking this journey, by choosing me

you grant the gift I desire most

I pray for guardian angels to guide you
and ease your burden with each step you take
You are not alone in this journey    

Together a life long bond we will make

Im not sure if Carolyn is sentimental, so if I am too much of  a boob about this, I apologize. But my emotions regarding having a family, run very strong and very deep as does my gratitude for Carolyn and Chris!